So sad
I have 2 weeks left of maternity leave. The last week we'll be out of town, with Jay's family for most of it. So next week is the last week I have to be at home with my baby girl. It's eating away at me. The reason it's killing me is not because I particularly love staying at home all day with her, but because I have to leave her in daycare while I go to work. The people who work at the daycare will get to see her smile. They'll get to hear her coo, they'll be there the first time she plays with toys, the first time she acknowledges other babies, the first time she starts crawling, and probably the first time she talks. They'll get to see it and I won't. Assuming she takes naps, they'll get to pick her up from the naps and she'll nuzzle her sweet little head in their neck, not mine. They'll get to hold her and feed her. When she cries, they'll get to pick her up and comfort her, not me. I won't be there for her. I won't get to pick her up any time I want, or watch all the ways she changes and grows every day. I'm her mom--I should be the one doing that. I have gotten to know her for the past 2 months. And I've gotten to love her. So much. I know she'll be in the daycare days only, and I'll see her every evening and every weekend. But suddenly, that doesn't seem like much.
posted by Karen @ 11:36 AM
4 Comments:
I can understand how you must feel. I am a SAHM but there are time I think about going back to work and I know how hard it would be to leave my girl and she is older than yours. I hope she saves all the firsts for you when you are with her and none for the daycare people.. *hugs*
I don't know if it will make you feel any better, but during my college days I spent most of my time working in daycares and preschools with little ones and even though your daughter will spend a good part of her time in a daycare and I'm sure they'll be very good to her, so many other kishe'll still prefer you and your husband over those people any day. As much as I loved on those babies when I worked with them, because it's your job you don't develop those intense feelings for the kids. Plus you have so many to take care of at once there's not time to focus on just one the way you do when they're your own. Daycare kids are ALWAYS happy to see their parents at the end of the day. I'm sure she'll save all the good stuff for Mommy and Daddy.
I can only imagine how hard this will be for you. I'd be terribly sad too. But when my kids all were in daycare, they LOVED seeing me and hubby come to get them, it was the best part of their day! I just hope she saves the "firsts" for you like Tonya said.
My husband keeps mentioning "when" I go back to work. We have absolutely no plans for that anytime soon, but my heart still skips a beat each time. I don't want to miss a second of my son's life right now. I can't imagine that "when" coming as soon as it is for you. I hope Tonya's right and she does save all those special moments for you.
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