Has it only been 3 days?

I'm dying to pick her up! She's been in daycare for over 7 hours now, but I am in "hurry up and wait" mode at work. Damn slow network. Yesterday was easier to drop her off than today for some reason, but all 3 days, I'm jittery by this time. All I can think is she's been in there too long! I just want to pick her up and kiss her chubby cheeks. I asked Jay to drop her off tomorrow. It's the taking her and leaving her with the caretaker and leaving part that gets to me the most. I'm OK at work until I start thinking about what she's doing.

I've been keeping busy, which helps, but then I'll think about her sitting in the daycare and I wonder if she's angry that I left her there. Is she wondering where I am? Does she think I've abandoned her? Does she think I don't love her? AAAACCKKKK!! I know she does not really think these things--it's my paranoid mind that makes this stuff up. Probably in her mind she is thinking "Swing-swing-swing-swing. I like to swing. I feel hunger. Feed me. Good, here comes a bottle. How long before they change my diaper? I wonder how long I can stare at these other babies until they look away. Here comes this lady who takes care of me at home. She's taking me with her." Then the next morning it starts over. Truthfully I'm not even sure she recognizes me yet. It's actually better that she's not old enough to comprehend this yet. That means she's not old enough to care that I'm leaving her in the morning, or to wonder where I am or where Dad is all day. Once she is old enough to care, she'll be used to it. That's comforting to me to a degree, but doesn't make me feel any less guilty. It also doesn't make me miss her any less!