I've got an hour!

That's about all I seem to have in between feedings, and there's always something to do during that time. So it's nice to have some "free time." Thanks for all your kind comments. It's still kind of surreal that we have a baby now. This is my favorite pic so far, I think.

Sleeping babies are so peaceful! But when they wake up--watch out! Haha She has phases where she's either sleeping or screaming, but every now & then she'll wake up & just look around to see what's happening. I wish we could entertain her somehow, but I guess newborns are overstimulated just being awake, as it is.

I think (hope) this is normal, but she sleeps great during the day, and wails at night. Usually for the first few hours that we try to go to sleep, she fusses and cries and wiggles all around. Nothing really seems to calm her, but I think it's usually because of gas. I feel like we're beating her, trying to get her to burp, but it just won't happen sometimes.

The breastfeeding thing is going, but I don't know that I'd say it's going well. Well, OK it's not going well. She is very hard to keep awake! Last night I had one feeding session that took an hour & a half. She would NOT eat, and then once she did for a few minutes, she was done, comatose almost. Then she would still be hungry and would cry & fuss, so I would try again. Eventually after an hour of this, I gave her some formula. She did sleep soundly after that, after I finally calmed her down. I hate giving her formula--it almost makes me cry to watch her suck down that bottle. I don't understand--why does this stuff always happen at night and she's usually pretty happy during the day???? I guess that's just the way it is. I am using the sheilds for breastfeeding, which the nurses advised me against, but it's the only way she'll eat. I'm hoping and praying that eventually she will latch on without them, but so far no luck with that. I have to give her a break though--she's only 6 days old. I just don't want to create bad habits.

As for me--I am looking forward to the day when I'm able to sit without my inflatable donut pillow, but for now, that's my best friend! I am also looking forward to being able to go out for a walk or something, but still not up for that. I'm doing well to walk around the house for now. :)

Introducing Jenna Marie

Our little angel was born Friday, April 21 at 6:24 am.

She is healthy and perfect and I love her so much already! Now I know what everyone's been talking about all this time. She weighed 7 lbs, 13 ozs at birth, but has lost 8 ozs since then. Let's just say I now know that people aren't messing around when they say how frustrating this breastfeeding thing is. I won't go into detail, but it's so upsetting to think that I'm not able to feed my baby. It goes well sometimes, and horribly other times, but I know it takes patience and time to get it right.

This kid has got a set of lungs on her! She doesn't hesitate to let us know when she's upset, but when she does, it's either because she has a dirty diaper, wants to be swaddled, or is hungry. And if she's crying because she's hungry, it's too late and she will be too upset to eat. I always thought the crying would bother me, but it doesn't--it just breaks my heart and makes me want to make her all better. Fortunately, Jay is the same way and has been the wonderful dad I knew he would be. We have so much to learn and she's only 3 days old, so I'm sure my attitude about everything will change in time. :)

I am not actually due until April 26, but anyone who knows me or reads my blog knows that I was very anxious to get this kid out of me! Well, I guess she was anxious too. A brief overview of the birth story--Thursday night, about 2 hours after we left the doctor's office for my uneventful appointment, actually, we went to the grocery store. As we were getting into the car to come home, my water broke! It was such a small amount, that at first I wasn't sure if that's what happened. I got online to read more about it, but it didn't help much. So I called the doctor, and of course the on-call doctor said I'd need to come in to be checked. So we grabbed our hospital stuff "just in case," and headed to the hospital around 9:30 that night. It was not the exciting drive the hospital I'd hoped for, since we weren't sure whether we'd be sent home. When I was walking up to the entrance, a big gush let me know that we would most likely NOT be sent home. Since so few women actually have their water break before going into labor, that was not how I pictured it starting. Well, they said since I was having contractions but they weren't causing any progress, they'd have to start me on pitocin. I was not happy about this at all, because I have been saying I don't want an epidural, but I knew that pitocin caused much stronger, harder contractions. So I had already thought in my head I'd probably end up getting one. Around 11:30, they started me on the pitocin, and almost immediately I started having stronger contractions. After about 2-3 hours and vomiting twice (from the pain?), I said I'm ready for the epidural. So I got it and was much happier. A couple of hours later, I could still feel the contractions pretty strong. At 4 am, the nurse checked and said I'm at 9 cm and almost ready to push. Wow--I hadn't expected it to go that fast! There was only one doctor on call, and there was another lady at exactly the same stage as me. So when it came time to push, she was delivering the other baby but told the nurse to have me start pushing anyway. After 15-20 minutes of pushing, the nurse said it's going too fast and I need to stop to wait for the doctor. So an HOUR and a lot of pain later (I would have DIED without that epidural), the doctor finally came in, prepped me again and I started pushing. It was less than 15 minutes later that Jenna arrived. The weirdest, most surreal moment of my life.

This hospital requres a 2-night stay after the birth, so we were in the hospital until this afternoon. I was so excited to finally be discharged, but grateful for the time to recover and have nurses and food available at the touch of a button. That first day was so exhausting. We didn't sleep a wink the night before, so combined with the exhaustion of childbirth, I don't think I've ever been so tired in my life. But by the time I actually had some time to nap, I had gotten a second wind and didn't want to sleep. Fortunately we were able to sleep some that night. Since this is our first night at home with the baby, we will really learn what sleep deprivation is all about. :) One thing I was NOT prepared for was how incapacitated I'd be after delivery. That's another reason I was grateful for all the rest at the hospital. The recovery is definitely worse than the labor & delivery (of course, I wouldn't say that without the epidural), but on this third day, I already feel a lot better than yesterday, and definitely the day before.

So I guess that wasn't as brief as I had intended, but I'm leaving out the details. I will post more pics later, and how she does at night. But right now she's been with her daddy for a while and it's about time to attempt another feeding. Uggghhh. All I want to do is keep her healthy and happy though, so I'm convinced that something will snap into place and it will all be fine.

Am I just a big baby?

In the waiting room at the doctor's office today, we ran into a friend from church who is due the day before me. I hadn't seen her in a while. I'm guessing she was about a size 2 before pregnancy, and she appears to still be a size 2 everywhere but her belly. Ugggghhh. She has no back pain, still wears her rings (no swelling), has no trouble sleeping at night, and has no pelvic bone pain. What's up with that? I started thinking am I just being whiny for having the back pain and the pelvic pain and not being able to sleep at night? I tried to put on my wedding ring and can't even get it to my knuckle. Oh, well, I know that 13 days is the maximum that I will still be pregnant. The minimum could be anything. But, nothing's changed. Still 2 cm. And the doctor wouldn't strip the membranes because I tested positive for group B strep. I have an appointment now for Wednesday, my due date, and if I haven't delivered by then, I'll have an ultrasound to make sure everything is measuring right. If so, she'll let me go another week, but if not (low fluid, etc), she'll induce at some point before the week's out.

I have several people guessing Saturday is the day, so here's hoping!

Before I was a Mother

2 posts in one day! I'm not a mother yet, but there is an excerpt in Pregnancy magazine that I really like and I wanted to share. I probably should wait until I am a mother before posting, but this magazine will probably be long gone by then. They're not all applicable to every mother, but I'm sure they will end up being true. :)

Before I was a mother
I used two hands to do things like chop vegetables, wash dishes, type. I kept knives on low shelves; I left electrical outlets bare. I never thought twice about flinging my purse onto the floor when I came home. I lingered over my morning coffee.

Before I was a mother
My breasts were just decoration. They were the same size every day. I wore lacy push-up bras and sometimes no bra at all. My breasts did not nourish young life. They did not make skinny arms plump and tiny bellies round.

Before I was a mother
I had plenty of time with my husband. We dined out, drank cocktails, saw art films. We stayed in bed till noon on weekends. We took road trips with no end in sight. We finished our sentences.

Before I was a mother
I understood pain only in the general sense. I did not beg for spinal injections or pant on all fours in public.

Before I was a mother
I could not tell one stroller from another. I could not recite theories of pediatric sleep experts or schedules for infant immunizations. I thought cradle cap was an accessory. I did not call anyone "little goat" or "stinky butt" or "my old heart."

Before I was a mother
I dreamed of being a mother. I was a puzzle with important pieces missing. My shoulder was not a cushion; my hip was not a resting place.

Before I was a mother
My heart did not feel in Technicolor. The sight of a tiny chest rising and falling did not make me sob. The sound of monosyllabic babble did not make me guffaw. I did not say my prayers every night. I did not offer thanks every day.

How does this guy sleep at night?

It cost me $44 to fill up my car with gas today--more than it has ever cost before. I'm thankful for not having a thirsty SUV or truck! It's sickening that the CEO of Exxon just retired and was given a $400 million retirement package. $400 million and we wonder why we're all paying almost $3 a gallon? Not that Exxon is any more expensive than other companies, but knowing that, I don't want to go there anymore. It's insane that some high-level executive makes $190,000 a DAY and the rest of us peons are bending over and supporting it. I'm glad I will be relatively home-bound for a couple of months after the baby is born, because I won't be able to afford to drive anywhere!!!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Why won't she come out? I know I still have 9 days until my due date, but all the other babies seem to be arriving early...why should mine be an exception? Even sitting isn't comfortable anymore because she's so low that my legs get in the way of my belly. 9 days is still a lot when I can barely sleep, walk, stand, sit, my clothes don't fit, and the temperature is in the 90s now. I already haven't been sleeping with covers because it's too hot, but it's about to get worse. I know I'm just being whiny, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want. :)

The good thing about this is that I'm taking advantage of these last days of pregnancy by eating ice cream and Easter candy. Should I do that? No, but if I'm already a fat beached whale, what's the difference??? :)

The sweetest boy

Our little Kaiser is so cute--he sometimes likes to lay his head on my belly. Last night we caught a pic...
I wonder if he knows what's going on in there. He probably just wonders what happened to my lap!!!

Full moon this Thursday

I have somehow managed to get through almost the entire pregnancy without having heard that a full moon supposedly causes women to go into labor. But I heard that this morning, and there is a full moon Thursday. Hmmm, that would be pretty cool to go into labor and have her born on Good Friday. :) But not Thursday--I don't want her birthday to be the 13th. I googled the moon thing, and found that the reason for this is because of the full moon's effect on water. Apparently amniotic fluid reacts the same way the ocean does. Interesting. But I also found out that it's most often false labor and these women are sent home.

I do realize I have 2 weeks left, and chances are really good that I won't go into labor before then. But, I can dream!!!! Baby girl is getting big and restless. COME OUT! COME OUT! COME OUT!

When will she get here?

I am so excited! I have false hope now that I will not make it to my due date, because today at my 37-week appointment, I learned that I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I know that really doesn't mean anything because I could stay this way for weeks. But I'm using this game I saw on other blogs to take a poll for when she might arrive. At this link, enter HaleArrival as the game name in the top left, and enter your guess for day, weight, etc.
http://www.expectnet.com/game.php

While at the doctor's office, I was really annoyed at first because we waited an hour before even being called in. But then I found out that I didn't gain any weight since last time, and all my vitals were good. Then when I found out about the progress, I was really excited! At least now I don't have a fear of going past my due date, but I could very well go to my next 2 appointments and be exactly the same. I don't know, but any progress is progress, so today's a good day!

Holy cow

I'm sure anyone who reads my blog is tired of hearing about how blessed we are, but I am again overwhelmed by all the stuff we got at our third and final baby shower. This was Jay's office shower, and his co-workers are great. I think our registries are tapped out by now. :) I am at work, waiting for my sugar-induced coma to set in after the punch, sprite & cake I had with the lasagne & bread stick for lunch. I wish I had pictures to post, but there are no pictures from this shower. We got the jumperoo, which I can't wait for her to be able to use, and the car seat for when she gets too big for the carrier. We also got a bunch of stuff like diapers, wipes, clothes, bath stuff, bibs (which we only had one of so far), blankets, and frames. I can't wait to go home and sort through it. Now we are officially ready! Now we can buy the FEW things left that we still need to get through the first several weeks.

This has become so real now. I don't even feel nervous when I think about going into labor, although when I think it may really be happening, I will probably FREAK OUT. Until then, it's a waiting game because today is the 37-week mark. Which means that she's officially full-term, and if born between now and 40 weeks, she'd be perfectly healthy. And her mom would be very happy!

Seriously.

I'm starting to get really irritated with this no sleep thing. Last night I was tired from getting so little sleep the night before, so I went to bed at 9:30. I laid there and laid there, and then around midnight, she decided to wake up. A LOT. So she did the whole whatever it is she does in there for about an hour & a half. She moved so much that my whole abdomen was lurching around and I'm surprised Jay didn't feel it b/c I know the bed was moving a little. I read some, then tried to sleep sitting up. Nothing worked, so around 2-2:30 I went down to the couch & watched TV. I found out that the Hogan Family comes on Nick at Nite. Then I tried sleeping for a while, but nothing worked. I turned the TV back on at 4:15 and found out that Charles in Charge comes on at 4. Then Who's the Boss comes on after it. I was pretty excited about that, but would have been happier if I could have gone to sleep. Finally at what I think was around 6, I dozed off. Then at 7 the dogs next door let me know that it was time to get up.

I was in such a daze when I came into work that I took my keys out of my purse and tried to use my keyless entry remote for my car to open my office door. This is going to be a long day.

I thought she was supposed to slow down

All the books/websites say that during the last month of pregnancy, the baby's movement slows because there is no more room. Well, apparently that's not always the case. Either this baby still has too much room and is taking her sweet time getting ready to come out, or she is just impatient and is telling me she wants to come out soon. I sure hope it's the latter, but I'm not counting on it! Last night, every time I woke up, either due to heartburn or because I had to pee, or most often because of both, she decided it was time to play. Squirming and kicking, but I just wish her favorite place to kick me wasn't right under my ribs! The only way to keep it from hurting is to press my hand there so she kicks my hand instead of my ribs. But it's hard to go to sleep when you're pressing your fingers under your ribs. :) Someday I will joke with her about this. When I am trying to get her to sit still in church or at a show or when she's trying to sleep, I will tell her she was a fiesty one from the beginning. My little wiggle worm.