My last day at home

Tomorrow we are going to Austin, then we are going to the lake, and by the time we come home, it will almost be the weekend. Dad is taking next week off, which means this is the last day I get to be home with just me & mommy. Mommy is very sad, but she has had lots of time to think about it. I have been such a good girl today though! That almost makes it harder on mom, but she has had fun with me today. She tried to get me to lay next to Kaiser, but he was a little uncomfortable with that. She did manage to get one cute picture, but he closed his eyes.

She also put me in my exersaucer a few times today. I have so much fun in there! There are lots of things for me to look at and touch. I even turned myself around in it earlier, and I have been spinning the tube with the little colored balls in it. I like the sound that makes. Actually I just do it because my hand goes there naturally, but mom thinks I'm doing it on purpose. :)

Not only have I been an angel today, but I have hardly spit up at all! Mom has been using the same burp cloth all day. This is the first time for that, but I thought I'd be extra good today so it will be harder for mom to leave me in daycare. I'm sneaky!

I had a nap today!!!

I got tired today, but instead of fighting it like I usually do, I let mom put me down for a nap in my crib. I slept 2 1/2 hours! Mom was so happy! She got a lot done and she thought I was going to be in a really good mood this evening. I did have some good play time, but I was mostly fussy all evening. Dad's holding me while I cry now, but it's OK, I'll calm down in an hour or so and go to sleep for the night. Sometimes I just like to cry and yell at mom and dad to let them know who's in charge. :)

[Update: I did NOT do well last night. I guess when I take naps, it doesn't really affect how night time will go. Mom got really frustrated with me because it took her more than 3 hours to finally get me to sleep close to midnight. But I will surprise mom and dad, and I'll be good tonight!]

Now that I'm taking more of an interest in all those toys and animals that mom and dad have around the house for me, I'm easier. I can sit in one of my swings or my exersaucer or papasan, and as long as I have something to look at, I'm usually OK. I sure do have a lot of toys! Most of them used to be another baby's, but that just means I don't have to break them in.

In a few more weeks, I hope I have enough coordination so I can grab them and make them sing. Mom keeps trying to read books to me, but doesn't she know I'm not old enough to listen yet? I don't know why she keeps doing that. Some of them have crinkly pages that make fun sounds though. Maybe someday soon I'll be able to touch the pages myself.

I'm taking charge now!

Hi everyone--Jenna here. My mommy gets kinda bored with the same thing for too long, so she changed some things on this blog. First of all, she changed the name. She will probably get bored with it and change it to something else though, but she apologizes if it confuses anyone. Then, she added purple because she really likes it. Finally, and most importantly, she decided that I get to write my own posts because she doesn't know what I'm thinking most of the time anyway!

I had a pretty fun weekend with mommy and daddy. This morning they took me to church, but we had to sit in the cry room because I got hungry and they had to feed me. I get a little cranky and sometimes I scream when they take the bottle away from me. I am trying to get better about that, but I'm just a baby so I'm allowed to! After church we went out to eat at Applebee's. Mommy likes to go there because they have a weight watchers menu and she can easily track points. Mommy is so silly--she has been doing weight watchers for only a week, but after she ate a healthy lunch, she came home and ate a bunch of cookie dough. It's OK though, she still had a bunch of points saved up for the week, and she went to the gym. Daddy was with me for a lot of the day and I got a little upset a few times, but mostly I was good. I like when my daddy takes care of me because he doesn't let me cry as long as mommy does before he picks me up. But sometimes he knows I'm just tired and cranky, so he lets me go on until I stop. Both of them are getting better at learning my cries. Sometimes I'm just telling them I want to be picked or that I'm hungry, and they know that. But sometimes I play a little game and cry for no reason, just to see what they do! It's my fun little game and I will probably keep doing that until I can talk. :)

A new toy

I have 2 exersaucer things that I got from someone whose kids outgrew them, one of which has a base and isn't meant to be mobile. I assumed Jenna would not like it yet because she's still too small and doesn't have an interest in the toys around the seat. But, (thanks for your suggestion, Cindy) I put her in it today and she seemed perfectly content to just sit in it.

She doesn't care about the toys and she isn't big enough to make it bounce with her feet, but anything I can set her in for a while is my friend! Today Jay was gone from about 8 am to 1:30 pm. It happened to be one of those days when she was fussy all morning. I put her in there about 5 minutes before he got home, and from that point on, she was fine. No fussing, and when she did get tired of it, he picked her up and she went to sleep. Go figure. Oh, well--I got to go to Kohl's and get her some cute outfits. :) Not that she really needs them, but I couldn't resist! Then I went to the gym because there's nothing like trying on swimsuits 2 months after you've given birth to motivate a good workout...Bleh.

So sad

I have 2 weeks left of maternity leave. The last week we'll be out of town, with Jay's family for most of it. So next week is the last week I have to be at home with my baby girl. It's eating away at me. The reason it's killing me is not because I particularly love staying at home all day with her, but because I have to leave her in daycare while I go to work. The people who work at the daycare will get to see her smile. They'll get to hear her coo, they'll be there the first time she plays with toys, the first time she acknowledges other babies, the first time she starts crawling, and probably the first time she talks. They'll get to see it and I won't. Assuming she takes naps, they'll get to pick her up from the naps and she'll nuzzle her sweet little head in their neck, not mine. They'll get to hold her and feed her. When she cries, they'll get to pick her up and comfort her, not me. I won't be there for her. I won't get to pick her up any time I want, or watch all the ways she changes and grows every day. I'm her mom--I should be the one doing that. I have gotten to know her for the past 2 months. And I've gotten to love her. So much. I know she'll be in the daycare days only, and I'll see her every evening and every weekend. But suddenly, that doesn't seem like much.

Smiley

It's getting easier to capture Jenna's smile on camera because she is smiling more. She still doesn't do a whole lot, but she'll smile at us and even at her "toys." I'm anxious for her to take an interest in playing with her toys, but for now our breakthrough is a little sea life mobile that we hang from her papasan. She likes to look at herself in the mirror under the leaf that sits above the papasan, and she likes to look at the mobile. When the red crab is pulled, it makes music, and she sometimes pulls it by herself over and over. I know she isn't doing this intentionally--it's just a result of grabbing the crab and pulling it towards her. But it's fun to think that she's entertaining herself. :)

She also coos sometimes when she smiles--it's so cute! I know they all do that, but it sure is a sweet sound. Cooing is MUCH better than crying!

(Sorry, Jenna. I just had to post your little chunky bathtime picture here! Forgive me?)

Cutie! We went to Babies R Us today so I could return a few things and get a few things. I couldn't resist--I bought her a few little outfits. I was "wearing" her in the bjorn the whole time, and she slept. I think the shots this morning made her sleepy. Anyway, I had plenty of time to browse all the cute clothes and I just couldn't resist. I haven't gotten to really buy her any clothes yet at all, since she got so many at showers. Now that she doesn't mind being changed, it's kind of fun to play dress up with her. :)

Happy 2 months, baby girl

She's 2 months old today! We had her 2 month appointment, which went better than I thought. She had to get 4 shots, but the nurse was very quick and the crying, though loud, was short. I've never seen Jenna turn that many shades of red in such a short time. I think it was harder on her mama than it was on her. :) I had been curious about her weight, and I now know that she weighs 12 pounds, 14 ounces. So she's up 5 pounds, 1 ounce from birth. Actually I would have guessed more than that, but I'm glad she's not getting toooooo big. Her weight is in the 75th percentile, her length in the 50th %, and her head circumference in the 25th %. Sorry Dad, I know you'd be proud if her head was bigger. :)

We asked the doctor (Dr. Bel) about the spitting up issue, because I'm not sure what's normal. I just know this kid spits up A LOT. She suggested a medication that we might try. Jenna spit up several times at the doctor's office--pretty much soaked 2 burp cloths, my shirt, Jay's pants, and her outfit. Dr. Bel said if she's doing that all day, it's excessive and it may be a reason why she has sleep issues. But as long as she's gaining weight, we should look at it as nothing more than a nuisance. So we're not going to put her on medication--just deal with the spit-up. We don't think it's causing her sleep issues because she does pretty well at night (after she's fallen asleep). It's just naps that she's so bad at. Dr. Bel said once we start her on solid foods at 4 months, it will probably help, so it's only temporary anyway.

Yay baby girl, you made it through 2 months and your first round of shots...it only gets better from here. :)

5,000 hits

My counter at the bottom has hit 5,000. Where did they all come from? Who is reading this? Anyway, last night was AWESOME. Baby girl is a goooood girl! She went 7 hours between feedings! I'm not naive enough to think this will happen again anytime soon, but we fed her at 9, she went to sleep at 10:30, and didn't wake up again until after 4! I kind of freaked out when I woke up, but she started crying for her bottle and then she was fine. A little more hungry than usual, though. :) I haven't slept 5 hours at a time in like 6 months!

Happy Father's Day

Cheese alert--you've been warned.

I never had any doubt that Jay would be the best dad. I hoped that one day my kid(s) could have as good a dad as I have, and I got it! He is involved in every part of her life and he loves it. He stays up with her when she's fussy, he calms her down, he makes faces at her to make her smile, he gives her baths, he gives her bottles, he changes her poopy diapers, he takes her on errands, he takes her to church, he tries to get her interested in toys, he gets up in the middle of the night with her, and he wears her spit-up and other bodily fluids with pride. I should also mention that he went to all my prenatal appointments. Um, I should also mention that we both do all those things, and are lucky enough to do most of them together. I don't sit around painting my nails all the time, if that's what you were thinking. :) But I know enough moms whose husbands don't do half of these things. I know how lucky I am, and I know how lucky Jenna is to have such a wonder father. Someday she will really appreciate it--someday soon.

I don't remember my dad changing diapers or getting up with me or feeding me, but I know he did. What I DO remember is him being there for me when I needed to talk, telling me how proud of me he was, teasing me when I teased him, believing in me, going to my swim meets and soccer games, playing with us, taking us on vacations, hugging us, and providing everything I ever needed. Along with the infinite things my mom did for me and sacrificed for me, I am BLESSED! Jay's dad is also one of the most involved fathers I can think of. I have heard stories about all the things he did with and for his sons, and still does. I hope we can be a combination of our 4 parents, and I don't think many people can say that.
So, happy Father's Day Jay, happy Father's Day Dad, and happy Father's Day Ron. And happy Father's Day to all the other dads!

Thunder

It's been raining most of the day and there was a thunderstorm earlier. We put Jenna in her papasan while Jay & I ate lunch. When we were just about done, there was a really loud thunder and Jenna didn't like that at all! Poor baby's whole body jolted and she screamed. She had tears with these cries. :( Jay picked her up and comforted her, and it was the sweetest thing. She had a frightened cry we haven't heard before, and we felt so bad! It was just thunder, but it was an indication of how I will feel any time bad things happen to her. They will hurt me more than they will hurt her!

Wow, how our lives have changed

I was just thinking about how different our lives have become. Jay & I have been married 9 years in December, yet our first child isn't even 2 months old. Already she has completely changed us. We used to go scuba diving. We used to go to bed at the same time and eat dinner at the same time. We used to go out to dinner a lot and meet friends a lot. We used to travel. We went to Hawaii (twice), Florida (twice), Jamaica (3 times), Las Vegas (twice), Colorado (I don't even know how many times), New York (twice), Boston, Washington DC, San Francisco, Chicago, and countless road trips. Those days are, for the most part, over. Yet for some reason, I'm OK with that. I know that we have new adventures ahead of us. Yesterday I met Kyla and Cindy for lunch, along with their kids. As we sat, 3 adults with 3 kids (one was in Mother's Day Out), I thought about how our lives had changed. I never pictured myself sitting at a restaurant with 2 carseats and a high chair, tending to our kids and talking about our kids. I realized this is the start of a brand new life. A life I haven't known before, but a life I will embrace. Soon enough, our daughter will have her own friends. We will have birthday parties, sports events, slumber parties, and girl scout meetings for our new adventures. We will embrace whatever adventure she takes us on, but we'll rely on Grandma & Gramdpa to keep her once in a while while we cling to our own. :)

Magic naps

This morning, Jenna was overtired (as usual), so I decided when she seemed sleepy that I was going to put her down in her crib. This is not abnormal--I do this at least twice a day. Usually she cries until I can't stand it anymore, so I get her out. Sometimes I decide after a few minutes that it's not going to "take," and sometimes I'll let it go 20-30 minutes. Today she was a little awake, but stayed calm for 10 minutes or so (after I rubbed her back & shusshed her for a few minutes). Then she started crying really hard for 10 minutes. I went upstairs to get her out, but on the way up, she stopped crying. I stood there watching her for a minute or 2, and she seemed contently asleep. Well, baby girl slept for 2 1/2 hours! 2 1/2 hours! And let me just say that she was a JOY to be around ever since she woke up. No fussing, no crying, and lots of smiling. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!! She sat in her papasan chair staring and smiling at herself in the mirror and at her aquarium toy for a good 30 minutes.After she woke up & ate, she sat on my lap and smiled and cooed at me for another 30 minutes or so. Then she was in her swing, then daddy came home and she smiled & cooed for him. Then we met some friends for dinner and she was nothing but pleasant the whole time. I didn't get much done during this nap time because I was expecting her to wake up at any time, but if this becomes a habit, I will start something that I know takes a while to finish (working out). I will get the hang of it just in time to put her in daycare & go back to work... Oh, please baby girl, can you do this every day? When you cry, I let you continue because I know what's best for you. I don't let you continue because I'm neglecting you--please learn that naps are GOOD!!!!!!!! You're happier, we're happier, and you're a lot more likely to have a brother or sister! :)

Why is ice cream so good?

I don't like dieting. For the first month with the baby, it really wasn't a problem because it was hard to find time to eat. I was constantly holding her, and didn't have much of an appetite anyway. I had to force myself to eat enough so I'd have enough milk for her. Now, she is easier to put down. She stays in her swing or papasan for a while, which is great, but it sure is tempting to snack during those times. :) I have more of an apetite and more of a sweet tooth than I did during that first month. I have lost 30 pounds, but still have somewhere between 10 and 15 pounds to lose before I even get to my pre-pregnancy weight. I wanted to lose 10 pounds even then. I still eat ice cream almost every day for my treat, but I limit it to one serving. I did NOT limit it during pregnancy. Hmmmm, wonder why I have so much to lose! It's harder to get to the gym now, but I need it more than ever! We went for a walk at 7:30 this morning, before it got too hot, but my walks with a dog & a baby can't be too long because she gets kinda fussy after a while. One thing that has always annoyed me about living in such a hot climate is that during daylight savings time when it's light so late, it's too hot to enjoy that light! I can't go jogging or for a long walk because it's too hot. When it's not too hot, it gets dark at freaking 5:00 and I can't go then unless I want to be stupid and go in the dark. Anyway, I digress, but hey--it's all related.

The kids

I just loved this pic and had to share. :)

Great Grandparents and bath time

Growing up, I had grandparents in California and New York. Since we lived in Texas most of the time, we hardly ever saw them. I never had great grandparents, and I no longer have any living grandparents. Jay still has all 4 of his grandparents, so Jenna is lucky enough to have 4 grandparents and 4 great grandparents, all in the same state. We don't have any family in the same city, but they range from 2 1/2 to 4 hours away. One set of great grandparents came by the other day and met her for the first time, which is when I started thinking about how rare it probably is for both sets of her grandparents and her living great grandparents to still be married. Hopefully she'll appreciate that someday.

We are still having big sleeping issues, but I take it where I can get it. If she is asleep in my arms, I'll let her stay as long as she wants. If she will sleep in her swing, great. If she sleeps while I "wear" her in the bjorn (like she is now), works for me. If she sleeps on the couch, I don't dare move her.

I have learned that if she seems like she'll go to sleep, I'll hope it happens wherever she is (which is usually on me). If I try to put her in her crib, it's all over and she'll be wide awake and fussy again. Yesterday she wouldn't sleep all day, and she was soooooooooooo tired. After about 3 hours of crying, I finally drove around for 30 minutes just to lull her to sleep, and after about 20 minutes, she did doze off. I managed to keep her asleep for about 3 whole minutes once we got home. :) Once she finally went to sleep, it ended up being a pretty good night, except she slept on Jay's chest half the night. Oh, well, whatever works, right???

One thing we really look forward now is bath time. She loves it! We don't give her a bath every day because I've read that it dries their skin out, but maybe we'll start doing that anyway?

It's amazing to me how much she changes. It's still hard to capture a picture of a smile, but she is smiling at us more. She is starting to look at the animals that hang above her swing, and she will look at herself in the mirror above her little papasan chair. Pretty soon she'll be mobile!

For fun

2 posts in one day! I took this from Emmakirsten's blog--I thought it was fun.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street):
Sukoshi Carlton

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite candy):
Evelyn Jelly Belly

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name followed by izzle", first two or three letters of your last name follwowed by "dizzle"):
Kizzle Hadizzle

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal):
Purple Dog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born):
Ann Dallas

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice):
Kareil KaiKai

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mother's maiden name spelled backwards):
Nna Lieno

8. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive):
The Purple 6

I love you, I hate you, I love you

It's funny--I've never been a particularly emotional person, but I have cried more in the past 6 weeks than I think I've ever cried in my life. And I'm so all over the place. Last night when I was up with her fussy self from 12:30-4, I was thinking holy cow, what have we done? I was not particularly in love with her at that point, to say the least. Then today, she was tired & fussy but as usual, would not go to sleep. I tried to do what the book I'm reading says to do, which is put her to down for a nap when she's drowsy, but of course that doesn't work. I let her cry for about 20-30 minutes, and eventually she stopped. I went in to check on her and was horrified to find that she had thrown up twice and had rolled around in it so it was caked in her hair & on her ears. I felt like the worst mother in the world at that point. She started crying again anyway, so I picked her up & cleaned her off, and had a talk with her about how much I love her (through tears, of course) and right now my job is to take care of her. So if she wants to sleep on me, she can sleep on me. So then she took a nap for an hour & a half on my chest and had a very pleasant feeding after that. I'm a little concerned since she is sleeping again now (on my chest in the bjorn), but if she doesn't sleep well again tonight, I'll know that maybe naps aren't her thing.

So this book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, says that when they get overtired, it's too late. That we should put them to bed when they're drowsy and they'll go to sleep. WHATEVER. If she is not dead asleep in our arms, she will not go down, and it's hard enough to get her to go to sleep on us. We have let her cry it out a few times, but that doesn't always work either (hence my story above). I don't know how to avoid the overtired state, since she won't go to sleep until she gets there. We soothe her every way we know how, but we can't force sleep on her. I have not read much into it yet--just the parts that pertain to me for now. I guess it's like everything else--we have to do what works for us. Since every book I have contradicts the other one, the trick is finding out what that is. :)

I know this isn't the most interesting post, but I am doing this as a journal to myself and for her to read when she's older. My goal is to take some fun pictures in the next week or 2 so I'll have more to post, but it's so hard to capture that smile! Hopefully she'll give me more of them!

6 weeks old!

Wow, our daughter is 6 weeks old today. It's still young, but when she was born, 6 weeks seemed like a loooooong way away. I would be going back to work next week if I wasn't taking an extended maternity leave--time flies.

I have a complaint--I am seriously getting frustrated by the fact that I will hold Jenna and try to calm her and get her to go to sleep for hours, and then as soon as Jay comes home, he holds her and she falls asleep. What's up with that? Last night he was gone for about 3 hours, and the whole time, I was feeding, rocking, swaying, bouncing, swinging, swaddling, and singing to our fussy baby. She calmed down a few times, but then ended up crying after a minute or two. It's like she catches herself falling asleep and thinks "no, I need to stay up or I'll miss something." She's only 6 weeks old--aren't they suppsed to be older than that before they do that? Anyway, then Jay got home at 10 and picked her up (although she was in one of her sleepy states at the time). She fell asleep and stayed that way for about 30 minutes, until she woke up hungry for her bottle. Seriously--he must think it's a breeze for me to be home with her all day. :)

By the way--she didn't wake up from the storm yesterday! She stayed asleep for 2 hours--I was hoping that would become a habit...

So much rain!

I finally got Jenna down for an afternoon nap today, which almost never happens, and now the sky has opened up. Loud rain and really loud thunder. Enough to make me jump. If she wakes up crying, I will be mad! This baby does not like to take naps, so I'm taking advantage of not having to hold her. She is so unpredictable--sometimes I think she's down for a nap, but she'll wake up 5-10 minutes later crying, and she won't stop till I pick her up. Other times (though more rarely), she really will be down for at least an hour. Still trying to figure her out.

She hasn't been weighed since her 2-week appointment. She'll be 6 weeks old tomorrow, and I'm thinking she's at least 10 pounds by now. She's growing so much! She's into her 3-month outfits now and they are so cute! I guess that's what happens when a newborn eats 5 ounces at a time...